If you're here to read a soppy story about how I found a perfect boyfriend, you are in a wrong place. Although it is a love story, just a bit different one. It's a story about loving your body and loving who you are. This a story about how I became (as odd as it may sound) my own best friend.
I think that I should start this story by saying that I've never been really fat/overweight, but for a long time I've had a fake image of my own body.
When I was young I've never really paid attention to the way I looked. It all started in high school. I started seeing all these people, who in my eyes were perfect. They were slim and fit, they had nice clothes and make up and I wished to be more like them. I started looking in the mirror and criticizing every single thing about my body. My legs, my stomach, my face, everything... I was never happy with the way I looked.
After a year of hating on myself, I decided to start doing something to make myself feel better. I started working out and it was a bad idea, now let me tell you why...
I'm a really impatient person and I wanted to see the results there and then. It obviously doesn't work like that. After every workout I was checking myself in the mirror to see if I looked any better. I didn't.
Looking back at it, I know exactly why it didn't work.
First of all, my diet was not the best. I was eating a lot of crap because I thought it would make me feel better. Second of all I was doing exercises that were not enjoyable for me. Quickly my workouts became a punishment for me, for my body. This stage of my life lasted for almost three years.
It all changed two years ago when I was doing a list of New Year's resolutions. I know that a lot of people have this on theirs, but I decided that I'm really gonna stick to it. I decided to work out every day and start eating better (I'm still a chocolate addict tho). I try to pick healthier options and I don't feel guilty anymore when I eat a huge piece of cake or a chocolate bar. I also picked workouts that were extremely enjoyable for me. After 6 months I realized that I am kind of addicted to working out and that was the best feeling in the world. Finally, I wasn't exercising to lose fat and to punish my body, I was exercising because I wanted to and I was enjoying every second of it. As I realized that, I started seeing my body in a different light. I started noticing small changes in the way I looked (or maybe I just stopped looking at myself through my flaws). Now two years after committing to this healthy lifestyle I can proudly say that I am happy about myself. I'm happy about the way I look and the way I feel. Of course I still have those days when I just look in the mirror and think to myself "what the hell is wrong with my face?!" and when the bags under my eyes are as big as my school bag, but whenever this happens I try to point out at least 3 things that I love about myself and usually I find a lot more! I really recommend doing this. Just stand in front of the mirror and start counting the things that you like about yourself. You will feel so much better, even if it's something small like "my freckles are cute" or "I like my hair today". Trust me, it might seem weird talking to your reflection, but it really helps. Once you learn how to make yourself feel better and how to cheer yourself up your life will become so much easier.
I also think that my confidence increased when I stopped comparing myself to other people. I realized that I'm never gonna look like a model (mainly because I'm 5'2") and that's ok. I can still be beautiful and feel great in my own body. I chose to accept my flaws, like the fact that the left corner of my lips lifts up whenever I raise my eyebrows because I had Bell's Palsy or the fact that I don't have a gap between my thighs (which I think is not that big of a deal anyway). What I'm trying to say is that your flaws don't define who you are. It takes a lot of time to realize this, but once you do your life becomes 100x better!
I think I'm gonna stop rambling now because this is probably the longest post that I've ever written. At the end, I just want to tell you that you are beautiful in your own way and don't let anyone tell you that you are not and I really hope that you really liked this post and that it has encouraged you and gave you the motivation to start loving yourself. And remember that looks are not the most important thing in life! There's so much more to you than just a thigh gap and flat stomach!
If you guys have any questions, thoughts, want to tell your story or you want to know more about my story, feel free to leave a comment down below!
You can also find me on Twitter @Just__Joanna if you want to tweet me or DM me go ahead!
Much love
Joanna xo
